I never saw the point in holding grudges to those who’ve wrong’d me.
It is ignorance that prevents me from realizing immediately,
How I was wrong’d, was of my own doing.
Ignored went, the signs in vocal tones,
My compassion, not reciprocated,
The glances, always misguided.
In retrospect, I am a knave.
That said, I cannot believe I did what I’ve done to myself.
I’ve shrouded myself in ignorance, that temporary bliss,
Brewed a vice and forced myself to drink, to binge,
Became intoxicated with hubris and arrogance.
Now comes the hangover and I’m quick to regret my actions.
I have long, dark, frigid nights when I stay awake;
The nights I think about you;
The nights I think about them.
When sleep comes to me,
I have trouble waking up.
The disgust at awak’ing
To the bright morning orb
Dictates to me a problem.
I just lay there waiting for a purpose, meaning, and survival
Eventually I awaken to the look of myself in the mirror
I stare long and hard and see the shadow of a past.
I see what everyone sees but are quick to ignore;
They see branches like those of mended glass
A shattered heart sloppily mended together,
They see a receptacle of lies and deceit,
They see a haggard countenance,
Of I, looking for a shade to rest
Stare long enough,
I’ll see what goes disregarded;
I see good intentions, a heart of gold,
I see my skills, talent, ability and conviction,
I see experience in all walks of life, those long miles treaded,
And my sentiment changes; optimistic I am and what I lived, learned.
Define myself, not, by the decree of others; I become unfamiliar, a stranger.
Define myself, aye, by who I am, what I’ve done, and what I hope to do, I am true.